I am fairly competent when it comes to relationships. I have a good marriage, a number of long term friendships and I get along with the people with whom I work in ministry. I enjoy good rapport with my extended family and look forward to holidays spent together. I like people in general and appreciate hearing their life stories with all their intriguing twists and turns. I’m not shy and I always relish the opportunity to meet new and interesting people.

In spite of my general success in building and maintaining relationships, it seems that at any given point in time, one relationship or another is out of kilter and requires some attention. Sometimes harsh words have been spoken without follow-up apologies and amends being made. Sometimes I’ve been dragged by God into a relationship with an “EGR” person. (EGR stands for “Extra Grace Required.” I learned that acronym in Stephen Ministry Training.) Sometimes I have a hard time loving a particular person. I dread even seeing them. I get irritated by someone’s rude, selfish or generally annoying behavior.

Thus, I find that being competent in relationships takes constant vigilance, constant improvement in my skills, constant prayer and compassion as I continue down the road toward perfection in love. John Wesley, commonly understood to be the founder of the Methodist tradition, was known to preach about being on the road to perfection. One of the scripture texts he preached from (in addition to Hebrews 6:1) was I John 4:18: “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts our fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love.”

For many of us, relationship problems are fearful situations in our lives. Yet as we seek to be transformed into Christ’s image, the call to love one another beckons us down that road.
In order to help us strengthen our skills in relationships, we are going to begin our new year with a sermon series called “Relationship Cures.”

Starting January 13th, we will examine four steps to strengthening our relationships (marriages, family, friendship, co-workers). Besides the Bible, I’ll be sharing some insights from psychologist John Gottman.

January 13 - Making Emotional Connections
January 20 - Discovering Your Brain’s Emotional Command Center
January 27 - Sharpening Your Communication Skills
February 3 - Finding Shared Meaning

This sermon series would be a great time to invite friends and family who might find it helpful to hear a Christian perspective on improving relationships. You might even invite someone with whom you would like to improve your relationship! I trust that you will find this 4-week series a very practical, down-to-earth guide for your life.

In preparation for this sermon series, it is fitting that we will share in Wesley’s Covenant service together in worship on December 30th. This covenant service has been around for nearly 300 years. Wesley suggested a preparation process to engaging in making a holy covenant with God.

First, set apart some time, more than once, to be spent alone before the Lord; in seeking earnestly God’s special assistance and gracious acceptance of you; in carefully thinking through all the conditions of the covenant; in searching your hearts whether you have already freely given you life to Christ. Consider what your sins are. Consider the laws of Christ, how holy, strict, and spiritual they are, and whether you, after having carefully considered them, are willing to choose them all. Be sure you are clear in these matters, see that you do not lie to God.

Second, be serious and in a spirit of holy awe and reverence.

Third, claim God’s covenant, rely upon God’s promise of giving grace and strength, so you can keep your promise. Trust not your own strength and power.

Fourth, resolve to be faithful. You have given to the Lord your hearts, you have opened your mouths to the Lord, and you have dedicated yourself
to God. With God’s power, never go back.

And last, be then prepared to renew your covenant with the Lord.
During the twelve days of the Christmas season, I encourage you to follow Wesley’s suggested process to reflect on this prayer so that when you come to worship on the last weekend of 2007, you will be ready in heart and mind to make the covenant.

Walking with you as we follow Jesus, Debra